The Late Harry “Buddy” McFadden Sr.

I don’t have many friends; my personality does not allow me to. I have wrote about it in my blogs and in my poems about my wall that I have built to keep away many who come in the name of friendship.  Though I do consider myself friendly, I don’t  have many friends.  Never have and I never will, it’s just the way that it is.  I just don’t trust enough people to call them a friend in the true form of the word, and to be truthful I have no desire to have them as well.  Yes I am friendly or try to be to everyone, but not everyone is my friend.  But if the Lord never allows me to have another real friend in my life, I had one, one who became one of the best friends that I ever had, he became a brother, a confidant,  someone who I was almost jealous of in admiration, as he was and had everything that any man would ever want.  He had a wife that adored him, children that idolized him, respect of many, and a life that symbolized the salvation of God.

There is a saying that says that no man is an island.  Well if not, on my small piece of the earth, I was blessed more than I will ever be able to say or write by the life of the Late Deacon Harry “Buddy” Fadden, Sr. who went home to be with the Lord on Thursday, July 17, 2009, and if I am honest, and I will be, though I know that God does always well, this one that I just don’t understand.

Quickly, Buddy was my cousin by marriage, something that I would always kid him about.  Telling him it was a vote that took place to see if we were going to allow him in the family, and he barely made it in.  He married one of my first cousins, Casandra Manning McFadden, who is the daughter of my late father oldest sister, Christine Manning.  Buddy and Cassandra married in 1969, and were blessed to have three children and ten grandkids.   But enough about the “official” statement of Buddy’s life, as here in A PLACE CALL AGAPE, we deal with how one affected my life.

I say this unapologetic that outside of my late father, Buddy may have been the best friend that I have ever had.  Outside of Jesus, and my father, again, I say Buddy could have been the best friend that I ever had.  Though the Lord has blessed with many wonderful brothers in the Lord, to whom I am so grateful, but Buddy stood at top of the list.  Buddy became a counselor to my wife and I, always giving his support to the reconciliation of our marriage.  I think that I can say with no reservation that he became a father to my wife, and sure enough an uncle to my daughter, as she also adored him.

But what made Buddy my best friend and brother, was it because when I was first got married, didn’t have pot or window, Buddy picked me up from work without asking and paid for a everything one could ask for in a Thanksgiving dinner, not even close.  Was it because when I fought depression and could not be reached by anyone doing the time I was bed ridden because of the car accident….it would be a good guess, as Mom and my wife would call Buddy, because he would so many times bring a smile to my face.  Though thankful, but that is not it. ……  Was it because we could joke for hours and he could make me laugh until my eyes were full of tears, precious memories. But that is not it as well.

The reason above anything that I could say that Buddy was my best friend is because he had no problem telling me when I was wrong.  Like my father, Buddy didn’t want to change me to be something he wanted me to be, he just wanted me to be the best that I could be.  If I was in error, he had no problem telling me that I was wrong and if I was correct, Buddy would back me to the wall.  And even in my mistakes, he would not allow anyone to talk evil of me, as Buddy was family first and foremost.  He would called me a genius (meaning stupid) but nobody else could.   As there were times that Buddy and I would go at in on the phone for hours, fussing and fighting, then at the end of the conversation, we had no problem telling each other….I love you.

I do feel that if I had listen to Buddy more that I did, my marriage would already be reconciled, as he supported my marriage more than anyone in my family.  He reached out to Yolanda more than anyone, and there was a close connection and a bond between them that made my heart glad to see.

When I received the shocking news that Buddy had gone home to be with the Lord, after beating cancer last year, after sticking by Casandra after a serious battle with heart problems, I saw nothing but more blessings upon a union that was already blessed beyond measures.  But when I received the news, this old sanctified, and Holy Ghost filled preacher wanted only wanted to ask God why.  I wept uncontrollably that my chest begun to hurt.  I felt cheated……selfishly, I hurt not for his family, but only for me.  I still needed Buddy in my life.  When I told Yolanda that Buddy had passed, I wept again telling her that I had no better friend that Harry McFadden.  As the week went along, and as we prepared for his Homegoing Celebration, I couldn’t sleep at night, fear would come over me, how would and how could I handle seeing his body in his coffin.  I wanted to speak at the service, but when the chance came, my legs would not move, I became weak, so I just sat in my seat and let the tears flow.  But I could almost hear Buddy say to me, what he would always say to me in tough times….It’s going to be OK….God got it in control.

Being a minister, I don’t know if someone expects me to give theological and deep answers to why the Lord moves in a certain way.  But I must be honest, in this one, I don’t have a clue, but again, I do know the Lord does all things well.  So I thank God for the life of Deacon Harry McFadden Sr, and as I walk away from his gravesite, the only that I could say was what I said to my father coffin as I walked away….”See ya in the morning”.    Nevertheless, the world is much colder, much darker, and so much lonelier than it was the day before his passing.  But like the psalmist David…I will bless the Lord at all times and His praises shall continue to be in my mouth.  As Jesus is still the true lover of my soul.

So I will always thank God that in my time He allowed Buddy to be in my life.  I am a better man for it.  And if there was a vote that took place to see if we were going to allow Buddy in our family……it should have been a landslide.  As one who wrist never bend, who hips never sway, one who has no sugar in his tank…..I have no problem telling him when was alive, and praying that his spirit can still hear……Buddy I love you and I away will.   Rest in peace genius, rest in peace my brother, and rest in peace my friend.  See ya in the morning.