Don’t Let God Break Up Your Marriage (2010)

The Apostle Paul makes a startling statement in the 3 chapter of 1st Timothy in his declaration from God to that of a bishop, elder, and or pastor in the body of Christ.  Most in which I feel back up the teaching of only a man should be in leadership in the church.  But be it a man or woman, Paul makes a statement that many have overlooked in the body of Christ, thus the divorce rate of leaders in Christianity is on the rise.   Paula White, Juanita Bynum, Charles Stanley, Bishop Noel Jones, BishopClarence McClendon, just to name a few.  Running around from state to state, nation to nation, church to church, with a word from the Lord to bring healing, while their homes are falling apart, yet telling others how to do it right.  It makes one wonder did they forget 1st Timothy 3:5, did the leaders did not read…. “If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?”

Now to his credit, and excuse me if I haven’t heard anyone else, but I did hear Bishop Noel Jones of the City of Refuge in Los Angeles say that his ministry ruin his marriage, he put his calling over his wife, and for years he blamed his ex-wife.  But most place the blame on their spouse, stating you knew I was in church leadership, you should have known what to expect.  So in other words, the calling on their life become more important than the one flesh they became.  And since God is a jealous God and we aren’t to put no one or anything before him, then the marriage suffers in the Name of the Lord.  But Paul asked the question, or made the statement, if you can take care of your own business, then how are you going to take care of God’s business.   Where is the balance that the leader must have to ministered to God’s people, and yet be priest of his household, where is that balance, it is in the Word of God.

The Paul thought that those who are ministry should not be married and wish that all was like him; but he had enough balance to know that all couldn’t handle that lifestyle.  So he gave instructions on what to do.   Let us look at 1st Corinthians, the 7th chapter, starting with the 32 verse.

An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him.

33 But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife.

34 His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband.

35 I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.

Paul knew that though one may have a calling on his life, being single is not the best way for all to fulfilled that calling, so if you are not one of them (and I am) then one has to learn our to balance their live to place God and their mate…..and there lies the problem for many in ministry, and things are out of order.

God is a god of order; again, God is a order.   In the order of creation, the Lord created the family thousands of years before He created the church.   The church was never created to lessen the role of the family, matter of fact the church was created to enhance the church, as the promise of the Holy Ghost was given to whomever receives it, and unto their children, and their children, and the children,  children’s children.   God called the church His bride and through His bride, God shows the man how to love his wife, and how the wife is suppose to love her husband.   A good friend of mines, Bishop Ronald Frazier of Christ Church in Cheverly, Maryland is a perfect example how to balance a family.   Unless there is funeral, homegoing service,  or a very rare engagement,  Saturday is family time, time to spend time with his wife, time to spend with his daughters,  as he took his daughters on their first date,  because even his calling Dr. Frazier knew the important of family, even in his ministry.

I know you might be the Chief Apostle, the Honorable Presiding Prelate of the Temple of Jesus Christ Holiness Great Overcoming Mount Zion Church of the Apostolic Faith,  but at the same time you are still daddy, you are still a husband, you are still a mother, you are still a wife, and if you don’t learn how to balance these titles, you will be the great apostle by yourself.   You have to learn how to have Sunday Morning Worship Service, your weekly Bible Class, and still have date night with your spouse.  While to you learning the secrets of the kingdom, you better learn what Victoria secret is as well.    This is going much too long, as a blog is turning into a lesson.   What am I saying in closing, God never meant to call you from your marriage, he might call you from sin, but he will never call you from that which He honors and bless.  Ask anyone with good sense, if home ain’t happy,  there is no way in the world you can be truly happy, and we sadly have too many unhappy pastors, unhappy bishops, unhappy leaders in the Body of Christ.   Because while you are becoming the great preacher, your spouse doesn’t even know you, your children are acting a fool, but you have a 4000 or more membership church, but Paul wants to know just one thing …. “If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?”

Published on July 12, 2010 at 5:56 pm  Comments (6)  

6 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I have a friend who was in church 7 nights a week. That’s all she talked about. However, she started having some issues at home. One day I told her that God wants her to fellowship but that she must also be home too. As painful as it was for her to do, she heeded that advice.

    When a plant isn’t nurtured it will die and so will a family.

  2. Love This! and Amen

  3. This message is so true. When i first got married to my second wife I was on fire for the Lord and it often took me away from home. I would start thinking of where was God going to use me next. Where could I go to spread His word. Little did I realize at the time that my wife was being crushed. Eventually it led to arguments and then infidelity. Now even though I want to restore my relatioship with my wife, it’s seems it’s too late. God has put a block between us in a way I would have never imagined. Without going into detail for those who understand this message take it to heart and restore your marriage before it’s too late. All I can do now is hope and pray that if I have to get divorced that God will find me a new purpose to serve Him. But the pain from the loss is great! I never wanted this to happen!!!

    • One of the reasons for this blog is teach others from the mistakes that I have made in my life, by being honest and open, and all the time showing how the love of God has kept me and has not forsaken me, doing my weakness and stupidity

  4. Sadly I am in this current situation, my husband and I split up a little over 4 months ago due to “ministry” about 2 weeks ago we were discussing getting back together, then a week later he tells me he can can’t reconcile with me because GOD has called him into full-time ministry, to go evangelize in the field, crazy thing is that he and I discussed going into the field together to speak about The Lord to as many as would hear, but he tells me GOD basically contradicted Himself and put him on a path that seperated our marriage, thankfully I know better then that, “GOD is not man that HE should lie”
    and his pastors (who my husband is now living with) sides with my husband

  5. GOD didnt break up their marriage possibly their lack of attention or the devil broke it up…u have 2 make time 4 your spouse

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