Saved And Celibacy??? (2009)

2016-11-19-22-27-07-7571Celibacy a reality, more important is it a reality in the Christian world.  Even back when I was a child, the church never taught you that could live save and single, but it was better to marry than to burn.  And if one was not married by a certain age, especially a young man, some thought you had some sugar in your tank.  Young woman was thought as an old maid, running out of time to bear children.   But even then, the church had a military look feel when teaching sexuality, don’t ask, don’t tell.   As long as you didn’t get caught, it was nobody business but you and the Lord.   And if you did get caught, especially if one got pregnant, then marriage was the only answer to solve the problem.   As I look back, I often wonder in my day, and even more in my parent’s days, how many babies ate wedding cake, without the congregation knowing?   But if sexual fires ran wild in the 1930’s to the 1970’s to the mid-80’s, then Lord knows, things must be ready to blow up in the 21st century in the church, because we are living in a whole different world than back then.

When my parents came along, everything was a sin, no movies, no bowling, no sports, no jacks, no nothing at all.   Yet there were a few cousins who showed up out of no where who looked just like their older female cousin, who went away for a couple of months.   And of course, we had the holier than thou grandparents who would deny or not accept the grandchild, as it if was the child fault.   But if back then if one got horny with just their imagination, today must be off the hook.  Because today children and grown folks alike have cable television, nudity all over the place, just stand in line at your neighborhood 7-11 and you will see sex selling itself in the magazine, out there for all to see.   And speaking for a man, saved and Holy Ghost filled, it still can be tough as women are wearing see more clothes, see more of them than clothes.  (Got that one from Grady Wilson on Sanford and Son)

So with sex all over the place, you don’t have to look for it, it’s there,  and does the church really expect one to not have sexual desires until they are ready for marriage.  And how do I live celibate when the church never told me how, as all they told me that it was better to marry than to burn.  Speaking just for me (It’s OK to talk about me) As I taught to flee fornication and yet I ran to it as quick as I could.  So I am not going to sit here and act like it’s easy.  

As one who proudly has a ministry that many feels comfortable talking to me about subjects that are often taboo in the church, I hear the struggles of flesh.  (OK! It’s about to get tough in here) I hear the stories of the youth who are trying to live holy, yet bombarded with sexual images will tell you in their self righteousness that though they will not sleep around, but will tell you with the same breath that you don’t buy a car without test driving…..get the hint.   Now they will tell you, not being hypocritical, they know it’s wrong according to the Word of God, but they will also tell you…..”Thank God for grace”.

Then there are some who have taken on a laying on hands ministry…..I am trying to keep it clean.  But I know some of you aren’t getting it.  As there are many in the church that has a masturbation spirit and with some churches teaching that it is not a sin, while others teaching that it is, the Body of Christ is confused, and using it as an alternative to not having sexual intercourse, safe sex at it best.   And the church has the same answer…it’s better to marry than to burn.

Then we have the divorce issue, with the church divided on if one can re-marry again.  But if the conservative view is correct, then many of those who married instead of burring, only to find out that they didn’t love the person that they were burning over.  So if the Apostle Paul is correct, being led by the Holy Ghost, the option is return to your mate, or a life of celibacy for the rest of your days.   Imagine, one get married at age 22 years old and get divorce at age 26, the church says that I cannot get married again if I am to be in the will of God.  In plain language, no nooky, unless I go back to my former mate as husband and wife, or unless they die (No comment)    Again, I ask the question is celibacy a reality in the church.

So I ask the question, how many do you feel that are living a life without sex, after divorce, how many preachers that are pastors and their denomination tell them no new wife, unless their mates dies.  Look at the sexual scandals of ministers, and I am talking about those who are married, God knows the single and the divorce ones.  And it is tough, I am not belittling anyone, being separated at almost 5o years old is very tough, Lord help me if I was in my 30’s.   So the solution again, is just don’t get caught, or find your interpretation of the scriptures or a church that says that I can get married again.  Never mind the Bible says that you are in the sin of adultery if you do so.  But because many never learned how to control their flesh, as the church never taught how to live saved and single, because many will say that masturbation keeps me celibate, the church hides these issues with a good shout (and there is nothing wrong with a good shout) while most of the members and the Levites as well are struggling in their sexual desires while being single and or married.

So what is the answer, do I cut off my cable television, do I stay inside doing the summer months, when clothes becomes less.  Do I act as though sex is not everywhere, in the stores, in the movies, is the answer becoming a hermit?   The answer is simple, but it is not easy.

First and foremost, you must want to do right, as it is written, “be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind”.  You got to have the mind to do right.  You must realize that you are not “that” saved.   Know your limitations.   I am not saying do not date, but meet a mutual place, go to dinner or wherever, and go your separate ways, if needed.  Know what you can handle and what you cannot.   I believe in all of the gifts of the spirit, I believe in speaking in tongues, but tongues ain’t ever got rid of a hard on.  Salvation never took away my appreciation of a good looking woman, but it did control how I react to them.   As the Holy Ghost gave me common sense from above, I know what I can handle and what I cannot.   As I have always said, I can go into a crack house and preach the Gospel with fire, but send me in a topless bar, all my tithes money will be in one dollar bills, with me shouting…”Let it rain”.  So know what you can and can not do, you have the power of God….but you are not God.

So end with what we asked in the beginning is celibacy in the church a reality in the 21st century.  Yes! A thousand times yes, but we must be truthful with ourselves and admit that it is an everyday struggle for some.  It does not make one more or less saved, as everyone has their weakness in some area.  So Mother in Zion and Father in the faith, stop sending one to Hell.  It’s time to stop condemning, but loving souls back to church.  How many people have we ran away from the church in the Name of the Lord.  I am not saying condoned it, but who are we to judge them.

The church has to preach that singleness and holiness can be lived, it is nothing wrong for one not to be married if they can control themselves in that area.   Each day we must reckon ourselves to be dead, and bring this flesh under subjection as an everyday ritual.  It is not easy, it can be done, and even if we fail, we serve a God who faithful and just to forgive us from all unrighteousness.   Pick yourself up and fight again.  It’s tough, believe me I know, but it can be done, but only through the power of the Holy Ghost.   Celibacy and Christianity must not be a question mark, but an explanation point to show the assurance of our faith.

Published on July 6, 2009 at 10:20 pm  Comments (11)  

11 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I would love it if you posted this teaching on TAG’s site.

  2. It would be my pleasure

  3. Your comments are so on point. The church is definitely guilty of not providing the guidelines for being SAVED and practicing celibacy in the 21st Century. I am a divorced-single parent for 20 years. At this point in my life and the rappant epidemic of sexual diseases and people NEVER who they say that they are, I cherish that it is the Holy Spirit that has kept me. Regarding not being able to marry unless your mate dies, it’s interesting because my mate has remarried and have four additional children, five including my son. If the Word of God states that the only way that you are not forgiven is blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, WHY the challege and struggle of keeping a person in bondage because they’re divorced. I enjoy dating and enjoying the company of “healthy, Holy Ghost filled and saved friends”. When it’s all said and done, God will probably look at the judgement and ask WHY did MAN hold others in bondage and He hasn’t! I will remarry again and have peace about that. I will also continue to allow the Holy Spirit to KEEP me until that mate appears in my life. In the meantime, I am very content and ENJOY my life to the fullest. One thing that I learned very early from my parents that were missionaries, is that we’re in the WORLD but not of it. If everything is a sin, you become confused and not living a BALANCED life. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is LIBERTY! Therefore, he that the Son sets free, is FREE INDEED. I am FREE!!!!! :)) Continue to write and be encouraged my brother in Christ.

  4. God bless you my sister, I know your plight, as one who is in the midst of a divorce, yet believing God for reconciliation until God says no. But as I said in the blog, the church has done a masterful job of telling us to stay celibate, but they never taught us how.

    As for teaching of not marrying again, I will never say if one get remarried if their mate is alive they will go to Hell. Can’t find Bible for that…but nevertheless I still can’t find where we can as well. God knows I wish I could, I am 50 years, but I am not dead. But I do think that this a gray area that no one is 100 per cent, not even me. But until someone SHOW me Bible different. I got to hold on to what I believe is true. BUT LAWD it is tough.

    God Bless you, you are in my prayers with the Agape love of God.

  5. I will stand in agreement with you for your reconciliation with your wife. God turns the heart like a river. I will pray for your favor with your mate. The church has tainted a lot of things and it’s a great feeling to live your life in the present. I’m closer to 50 than 40 and when you become content no matter what state, that’s a “good” thing. 🙂 Abundant blessings to you and yours!

    • Thank you my sister and I don’t say that because it’s the proper thing to do. I really mean with that with all of my heart. I appreciate each and every prayer that comes before the Lord in my behalf. God bless you so very much. Much love to you.


  6. Forgot to ask you this question during my last post. Please provide assistance because I am writing a paper that someone gave me. I’ve interviewed several pastors and youth ministers.

    How can the church soften the economic impact on children?



    • Like the Apostle Paul, the church must become all things to all people. Doing such hard times as we are going through, there are many in the church and outside the church, where parents are doing all they can just to keep a roof over the family head and feed them. This would be a perfect time for the “church’ to step in. As a bored child is a a child about to get in trouble.

      The church could step in with youth programs, and tutoring programs that could aid parents who often have to work two jobs, especially single parents. I feel that those churches that can afford it, should make these programs free, and open to all kids, not just to the members children. As not only will be saving the children from the mean streets, but I believe it can also be used to bring parents to Christ, which should be the reason that we all things.

  7. Thanks so much and confirms the three R’s that the Lord gave me: RESOURCE, RETREAT and RECIPROCITY. Praise God for your comments and will definitely report the outcome of the presentation.

    Blessings and I’m BELIEVING for your marriage! Peace and Joy!!

  8. Now is as good a time as any. This issues is being recognized and answers are being sought as to how to make it single or divorced without giving into temptation. There maybe one, who has or is striving to obey God’s will and heed the warning of engaging into sexual activity without a license. Bottom line sex is ordained as a marital experience only. And there is decency and order into it’s practice. Everything we do is by choice and each choice has consequences. All we need to know what’s right is right and what’s wrong is wrong. No explanation needed. If my mom says be in this house before the street lights come on…I betta be! or else suffer the consequences. No explanation needed. My momma wished I woulda fixed my mouth to say why follow this rule? She said what she meant and meant what she said. All I had to know was that she meant it for my good. Just like God. All things work together for the good.
    Making love is when TWO halves become one. When multiple halves are coming together, the union is not whole. They are intermingling with other portions that are tainting the original mixture, it’s completely out of proportion. Also when these halves conduct sexual activity that is immoral, it’s making the act fowl and perversion is introduced into that vessel. Which will open doors to more sin. The only way sin can come in is if we let it in. That’s why it’s wise to obey. (Do what I say, like my momma used to say.) They are things taking place in the spirit and manifesting in the natural (like our flesh for one in the form of sickness, disease) for each choice we make. How to obey? Talk to the Father. He already know. Whether you believe what you’re being told about this sex thing is true or not. Ask Him to show you and to help you. Don’t move until your change come. In the last days, no man would need a teacher cause we got the Holy Ghost. Take the same approach as you would about something that’s more manageable…let’s say money. 9 out of 10 we wouldn’t invest our hard earned cash into something that we are not sure about. We would search and re-search that thing to make sure it’s gonna work before we put that money in. Well, be that adamant about your soul. Before you jeopardize it’s resting place make sure you know what you’re doing before you put it into just any situation.

    Don’t want any blood on my hands Lord

  9. I do not believe that folks can’t remarry. The bible was written 3,000 yrs ago and although scripture pertains to today we do have to look at the times back then. People didn’t even have weddings and spouses were chosen differently than today. Vows are man made too.

    If someone is in an unhappy marriage, who ordained that? It surely wasn’t God. God is not going to order anyone to remain unhappy on this earth. People marry for certain reasons, immaturity being one, and if it doesn’t work that does not mean they should endure the rest of their lives being miserable.

    Celibacy may work for some but I do not believe it works or is natural in the state that the Catholic churches demands it upon their priests. Hormones & marriage are a natural desire and expecting anyone to remain celibate forever, is unrealistic. There’s a priest shortage as I write this.

    I believe human sexuality should be taught in church and not taught as something evil. Sex is not a disgusting thing and has to be approached in an age appropriate manner.

    The more children are limited from something it makes them want it that much more when they get away from their parents. Ever seen a girl raised in a home where every daily activity was a sin? Who wasn’t allowed to do anything, not even attend a school dance? But when she leaves her parent’s house she’s the campus whore? (sorry but that’s the way it is). She wasn’t taught anything but had restrictions put upon her like an inmate. When the door to independence opened she was like a bird out of a cage.

    The more adults “communicate” with children the longer they will refrain from peer pressure. If children learn what sex is all about and why they should wait, those children are the ones who will wait longer not clamping them down like they’re in prison. I know a lot of kids who rebelled when they turned 18.

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