One of the hardest lessons to teach in a modern woman liberated world is the role of the wife, with a biblical view. But nevertheless, the Word of God stands assured, and it doesn’t matter if it is the 20^th or the 21^st century, or whenever, it does not change.

For we know that the Bible says that the man is the man is the head of the woman, just as the Christ is the head of Church.  I know in the Book of Genesis that the Man was given rule over the woman, and her desires shall be unto her husband.  So does this mean that the man can just dog the woman, and she just take it, because he made a vow, “until death do we part” or because she was commanded by God to submit herself unto her husband.  These are the questions that we must ask and answer as we go into the role of the Woman in God’s will in marriage.

However, the problem is that God doesn’t exactly give us leeway in His Word for whether those in authority are good or bad. We are told to obey our governmental authorities, even if they don’t do those things we like. It appears to apply here as well. Peter also tells women to win their husbands to the Lord by their chaste actions in 1^st Pete4 3:1-2.

If a man isn’t saved, or isn’t acting Godly, that doesn’t excuse his wife from being submitted to him. In a way, it increases her responsibility, so that she may win him to the Lord. God can use that ungodly husband to mold the woman into the image that He wants her to be.   So if one husband is not acting saved, you mean the wife must still submit unto him? God gives special instruction to those who find themselves in an unequally yoked marriage. Yet, he still commands them to be in subjection to their unsaved husbands. In fact, Paul tells us that her submission may be the very vehicle in which God uses to bring her husband to salvation. Read 1^st Peter 3: 1-5.

 God did not say, “if he does this, you must do that.” Or “if he doesn’t obey, then you don’t have to either.” He plainly stated what each person’s responsibility is, and it is not contingent upon the obedience of the other party. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Colossians 3:18. It does NOT say, “As long as the husband is obeying God or loving his wife as Christ loved the Church.” How many ladies could make a claim on that one? This could be reversed for men as well. Does the husband not have the responsibility to love his wife and children unless they are obeying him? Should he only love her if she is consistently submitting to him as unto the Lord? There would be a very many unloved wives many days if that were the case.  So if I would stop here, it would seem that the woman gets the short end of the stick in marriage…….

You see, the husband must give account for the way that he ruled over his wife. The wife responsibility is to obey God through His Word and submit to your husband. The wife is not responsible to make sure that the husband is obeying God or demanding that He love you as you see fit. God will deal with him. If he is making a bad decision, but the wife is submitting in a Godly fashion, God can still use the situation because you are obediently staying within God’s order. If you try to take over and “rule,” the whole situation could blow up in your face. (even if your decision was in fact, the “right” decision.) The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:11-12.  However, a wife who will try to manipulate her way in a matter, obviously belittling her husband’s decision, is not Biblically submitting and will probably not be asked by her husband for her guidance.

What the Bible does command men to do is love their wives. Actually, the word used is the Greek “agape” love. The same type of love our God displays towards us. However, somewhere along the way, we’ve lost the meaning of this word. Agape is the Greek translation of the Hebrew word “haceed.” Although they had the word in their language, the Greeks didn’t use it, as they didn’t know what it meant. It actually came from OT covenant. In that context, haceed means “To have an overwhelming desire to give of yourself to the other person, for their benefit, no matter what it costs you.” That’s what men are supposed to do to their wives!  So in short the woman is supposed to submit, but the man is suppose to die…..uhmmm.

I would ask that you let me apologized for throwing a lot of information and likely left you with many more questions.  That is why I want offer you the complete lesson if you email me at agape_worldwide@yahoo.com, along with two other subjects on the Husbands, and Marriage and Divorce. 

Let me say before I get started that a lot of what I will say can be found in a 3 part lesson I taught back in 2002, and if you desire the full lessons on the family, it can be sent to you by emailing me at

In this day of 50/50 marriage, the Word of God is still the final say so in how a marriage should be….”As Christ is the head of the Church, so is the man the head of the woman”.  This is not Byron, but it’s the Word of God.  And I could go on, and on, in Genesis, it tells that the man shall have “rule’ over the woman.  But it is not my desire to prove the man is the head here in this blog, but more to show what are the responsibilities of being the head, as Ray Charles once said….it’s cost to be the boss.     

One of the key points of being the head is the way that the husband treats his wife. The wife is not someone to be taken advantage of, to beat on, or to be misused.  Paul told us through the Holy Ghost how to treat our wives….”Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” (Ephesians 5:25).  You wanna be the head, then love your wife, like Christ loved the Church.  How does Christ love the Church?   He cherishes the Church, He blesses the Church, He protects the Church, and He keeps His word to the Church.  Why? Because the Church will be His Bride, but still here the toughest part….and gave His life for it.  You want to be the husband that God has called you to be, young lady if you want a husband that God call him to be, be one, or find that is willing to.  Die to singleness, die to selfishness, die, as just we must to our sins, to become saved, the husband must die as well to be that which God has cause the man to be.

When a man takes a wife, the Bible says that the two are no longer two, but they become flesh. So anytime a man abuses his wife physically, or even mentally, not only is he less than a man, but he is abusing himself.  Yes! You have rule over, in other words, the man does have the final say so, but it does mean that the woman have no say at all.  For she is to be treated as the weaker vessel, it never said that she is the weaker one, but to treat her as if, she was, meaning to protect her.  But at the same time believe you me, there is nothing weak about a woman.  As the man is the head, the woman is the neck, and head cannot stand without a neck. 

For it was the woman who was made for the man, not the man who was made for the woman…brothers we were one in need, not the woman.  God made the woman to help the man, not vice versa.  So the woman is not some weak person who opinions and thoughts are not be considered, she is the helpmeet, because the man, though the head, he does need help.   There so much more that I could say about the headship of the man, for example, it is his job not only to work and provide, but he also suppose to leave an inheritance for his family to build on.

So in closing, there is a cost  to be the boss, for being the headship is more than a title, but it is a commandment from God, to all He has given this responsibility, shall be held responsible.